What country is best for me? Well, that of course, depends. It depends on a lot of factors, including personal preferences, your motives for expatriation, your financial circumstances, and whether you plan to work or start or run a business while abroad, or simply retire on a pension or Social Security. Below you will find a summary to help guide you to a short-list.

One thing I have noticed is that smaller countries (both in terms of area as well as population) seem to have a tendency to be more liberal and less politically repressive than larger ones. It is a trend with a lot of exceptions, of course, but there seems to be a noticable, if somewhat weak correlation. The major exceptions are small countries where the United States has a long history of intervention (Central America and the Caribbean is an obvious case), but where Foggy Bottom leaves people alone, they seem to do better at governing themselves in smaller countries than in bigger ones, for reasons I won't go into here.

This apparent trend goes out the window, however, when Foggy Bottom intervenes - so if a country has a history of being the victim of outside intervention (which almost always comes from Washington these days), it is best to think carefully about the history of outside intervention as well as the current situation and the likelihood of change, before committing to going there. The more frequent (or harsh) the intervention, the more cautious you should be, particularly if you are a political activist.

Here are some rankings by both cost of living and quality of life in a two-column table below. The cost of living rankings of 144 cities worldwide, as quoted on CNN (7/7/05), was put together by Mercer Human Resources, a company that specializes in helping corporate clients settle their expatriate employees overseas. The most expensive city, Tokyo, has a cost of living 160% of that of New York (which co-ranked with Dublin as no. 13), and Asuncion, Paraguay, has a cost of living only 44% of New York. So this will help you pick the appropriate countries for shortlisting. These rankings are based on typical expatriate corporate employee spending habits, and so they should be taken as only a rough approximation if you are inclined to live either simply or extravagantly. Some cities are low in base cost of living, and high in the cost of luxury goods and entertainment, and others vice versa. Other factors don't play into the rankings - you'll spend a lot more money on security in Buenos Aires, for example, than you will in Tokyo. So consider this to be only a rough guide, and your experience, as they say, may vary. Also, be aware that as the U.S. dollar declines in value, these rankings will change - highly dollarized economies (such as Ecuador and Panama) will become cheaper relative to non-dollarized economies, which will rise on the Mercer list.

The ranking of the top 111 countries in quality of life, as measured by The Economist Intelligence Unit, is in the second column. For information on how the countries are scored for quality of life, check the document from which this information was obtained. Rankings were based on such factors as cost of living versus average wages, crime, availability of goods and services, health and sanitation, political stability, etc. If you are planning to live on a foreign income as a retiree, pay particular attention to the first column - it is most important to you. If you are planning to support yourself by working in your new home, the second column is the most important.

Do your research. From the information below, you can create a short list of countries which may be suitable for you, and you should research all of the countries on your short list extensively, before prioritizing them into your best and worst choices. I would strongly advise you to do a search of Amazon using the search box at the bottom of this page to find books about all the choices you are considering, and getting one or two books (preferably not tourist guide books) about each of those countries, if you can find suitable ones. Researching on the Internet is fine, it is cheap and easy to do, but it is fraught with uncertainties. Reliability of the information is the biggest problem; much of the information available is unreliable and biased because of the fact that much, if not most of it is provided by people with an agenda, often well-concealed. Be particularly cautious in using large sites that purport to be helping you expatriate, but which link extensively to real estate listings or which are sponsored by real estate companies or immigration services, or are tourist related. Nearly all of these offer very selective information carefully calculated to give a false impression while appearing to be honest and credible. The best sites are those created by governments which are there specifically to provide reliable information regarding immigration policies, etc. Below, I have put together a summary of the major pluses and minuses of the more significant destinations, based on what I know or have heard, but you will need to do a lot of investigation on your own. Don't rely on this information alone. It is intended only to help you draw up a short list of four or five countries, based on what you want to do once you get there, and then do your own investigation of them - a lot of investigation. And please share with me what you find out, so I can pass on what you have learned to others in this space.

Africa
• Botswana Sub-saharan Africa's greatest success story, Botswana, with few resources and no outlet to the ocean, nevertheless has a booming economy and a stable political system, which welcomes foreign investment - in twenty years, it has gone from being one of the poorest nations in the world to sub-Saharan Africa's richest non-oil producing nation. This country is a great opportunity for someone seeking the challenge of starting an enterprise in a "frontier"-like setting in Africa. Downsides: The country is only nominally democratic, though the rule of law is well established throughout the country. Seriously disapproving of sexual minorities (gays and transexuals need not apply), the current president is a hard-core Christian fundamentalist (as are most black African heads of state), who is not bashful about imposing his religious views on the country. This nation has an arid, almost desert-like climate (water shortages are a constant problem) and a flat, uninteresting topography. Travel to and from this country is also somewhat difficult and expensive. English is widely spoken here. Visas are issued for three-month periods, and immigrants or visitors planning stays longer than three months, are required to check with the Chief Immigration Officer in the capital of Gabarone prior to arrival in the country. Contact information is on the Botswana government web site, in the Tourism section.

• Morocco An increasingly attractive country, where the government is actively seeking retirees from abroad, Europe especially. Rabat and Casablanca both have large expat communities, many of whom have come here to retire, attracted by the exotic culture, excellent shopping opportunities and exotic, yet relatively cheap residential real estate in the cities. A surprisingly vibrant nightlife exists, in spite of the Islamic disapproval of alcohol. The architecture in Casablanca was especially blessed by the French colonial period, when a lot of buildings were built exhibiting both Art Deco and Islamic influences at the same time. In recent years, most of the Jewish merchants who, over the last three centuries, built large and elegant townhomes, have departed for Israel, putting these homes on the market - and they can be bought surprisingly inexpensively, though some require extensive renovation. The cost of living is fairly low. Morocco offers a wide variety of climates and scenery, and the people are warm and welcoming - the Islamic commandment to be hospitable to strangers is in full force here. Downsides: a militant Islamic fundamentalist undercurrent, hostile to non-Muslims, exists here, though it has been well-suppressed by the monarchical government. How long the general population will remain welcoming to Americans, given the behavior of George W. Bush, particularly in Israel and the Middle East, remains to be seen. The country has a legal system that is an amalgam of Islamic, local and western legal systems, and legal processes and procedures can be quite opaque to Westerners. There is also a pro-democracy movement, intent on overthrowing the monarchy, that currently has limited support, but that could change if the monarchy becomes repressive. The local language is an amalgam of Arabic and local Berber dialects and is difficult for outsiders to master - figure on hiring a bilingual staff member to serve as a translator - the language is difficult and will take a good deal of time to learn. Americans are not required to have a visa to enter Morroco, but to stay longer than 90 days, you must travel to the capital of the district where you wish to live, and apply to the immigration officer at the central police station there.

• Mozambique The civil war that ravaged this African jewel for quite a few years was sponsored by the Apartheid regime in South Africa (with help, as always, from Foggy Bottom), and the war quickly ended when the Apartheid regime in South Africa was finally voted out of office. The government that came to power in Mozambique has a very liberal, intelligent, pragmatic outlook, and is welcoming (and actively seeking) outsiders to come and help develop the country. The rule of law is now well-established throughout the country. Excellent opportunities exist here for agriculture-based enterprises, particularly for export - the Mozambiquan government is agressively seeking entrepreneurs for this sector, and will even provide land for the farms. If this country stays the course, it could become one of Africa's real success stories in the years to come. Downsides: Crime makes travel between cities dangerous, especially at night. Travel in convoys is recommended. infrastructure, damaged badly during the civil war, is only slowly being repaired and upgraded. Utilities outside of Maputo, the capital, are largely unavailable, and the southern half of the country is flat, low-lying and is badly prone to flooding during the Southern hemisphere tropical-storm season. The national common language is Portuguese. I have no information on immigration policy, other than that visas are required for all persons entering the country. It is recomended that those persons seeking information on immigration policy check with the Mozambican embassy or through a lawyer specializing in immigration in Maputo.

• South Africa Since the end of Apartheid, South Africa has become a very open society - easily the most liberal, open and democratic society in Africa (though the jury is still out on how long it will remain that way). The new majority African government here is actively seeking foreigners with skills who can start and develop businesses, particularly those which employ large numbers of unskilled laborers, or which can impart skills to those people. It is also seeking those willing to work for wages, if they possess specialized skills that are in short supply. The country boasts the best infrastructure in Africa, and the infrastructure in the poorer and more rural areas (especially utilities), long neglected, is rapidly being improved. Downsides: a right-wing undercurrent of racial tension still exists in predominantly Afrikaner areas of the east and southeast. While the country has the world's only constitutional protection for gays and lesbians, society itself is not so progressive; more than 70% oppose legal protection for gay rights, and more than 90% oppose gay marriage - the numbers are even higher among black South Africans. For some time, the country has had the highest street-crime rate in the world by far, but it is coming down fast, as the government is succeeding in addressing the causes in the most crime-prone areas. Nevertheless, you will still find it necessary to live in a secured compound and avoid travel at night, and use precautions when on the street or away from home. Qualifying for a residence permit with work privileges is apparently difficult, as there have been a number of scandals recently involving corruption in the Home Affairs ministry, in which officials have been bribed to legally marry South African women without their knowledge or permission to foreign men seeking permits to live and work in South Africa as the husbands of South Africans. So far, over a thousand cases have been uncovered, and more are coming to light every day. In other corruption cases, other Home Affairs officials have recently been caught selling South African passports. South Africa has a rather complex immigration policy; I would refer you to the New York Mission's web site for information. Study it carefully.

  Australasia, Pacific Islands and the Far East:

• Australia Great place at the moment, but I am not sure how long that is going to last. I am told by Australians that the current government, led by Bush sycophant, John Howard ("Bush's other poodle" as the Aussies often say), is leading that country down the same path that George Bush has been leading it in the U.S. Once very easy to get into, it is increasingly difficult to get a residence permit in Australia. Immigration policy in general has, in recent years, become something of a political football, and so immigration has been essentially cut off in the process, unless you happen to be someone with a skill they need, or have vast sums of money to leave sitting around in an Aussie bank so you can prove financially competence. Australia does have a good foreign retiree program - there is no fixed minimum income, but you have to be able to demonstrate that you meet the requirements of financial solvency and have adequate private health insurance. Regional opportunities exist for migration visas to low-growth areas and for specific skills; nursing is one. Under the Howard government, recently re-elected for another five-year term, Australia has not been granting political refugee status very freely. The Australians have a love/hate attitude towards Americans - most will be quite friendly, but a few will be decidedly unhelpful when they know you are a Yank. Economically, Australians live nearly as well as Americans; you will likely take a hit on your standard of living, but it will be tolerable.

• Fiji A country that is often stereotyped as the quintessential South Pacific paradise, this is a country that, for the most part, actually lives up to that reputation. One of the larger South Pacific islands, it is one of the few that has a fair amount of room - meaning that land here is affordable, if not cheap. A one-acre parcel can be had for between $20,000 and $50,000 U.S., and labor to work it is abundant and dirt cheap. Volcanic soil, few agricultural pests, and a maritime-tempered tropical climate mean that just about anything grows here - it is the only country in the world where plantation growing of mahogany is commercially viable. If you can grow your own food, or you can live on locally produced food, you can live here for a song. Tourist visas are granted on entry for up to four months; visitors must be able to demonstrate financial competence for the length of their visit, and must have a passport valid for at least three months beyond the length of their proposed stay. A tourist visa can be extended for up to six months. Residence permits are granted to investors who can demonstrate an investment in the country of $45,500 U.S. and an annual income of $15,200 at current exchange rates (as of 1/05), or who can deposit with the Fijian government a minimum of $100,000, or invest in a Fijian enterprise the same amount. Downsides: Fiji is a very poor country, and jobs are very scarce, so work permits are almost impossible to obtain. Starting a business is feasible, however, but requires a Fijian partner. November through January, the weather is very humid, and somewhat less so into April; typhoons also hit the island during this period, expecially in the western side of the island. The main island has hydroelectricity, but utilities outside of the capital are poor to non-existent. Expect living to be somewhat rough - nothing much works here and getting repairs done is difficult to impossible.

• French Polynesia Who hasn't dreamed of doing a Paul Gaugan and spending the rest of their days rotting away on some Tahitian beach? But is it really a south seas island paradise? You bet it is. That's why so many tourists spend so much time and money there. I'll bet you're saying that it must be a terribly difficult place to get a visa to retire to, however. Well, if that's what you think, you'd be wrong. It is actually about the easiest place to get a residence visa of anywhere in the South Pacific. Why? Because of its status as a French Overseas Territory. That means that if you have a visa to live in France, you have a visa to live in Tahiti. For Americans, you simply download the visa forms from the French Embassy's web site, fill them out, supply the required supporting documents showing that you have enough money to live on, send them off and voila! You're in! Downside: not cheap. Expect to spend a minimum of $2,000 per month in living expenses. Upside: it has all the amenities you would expect of an overseas territory of France - reasonably good infrastructure (at least in the main cities), good health standards, and a good quality of life. The scenery is outstanding. Fishing is great. The people couldn't be more welcoming.

• Japan This country is a well-kept secret. Who would have thought that the land of the sun rising over a ten-dollar cup of coffee would be a great place to which to expatriate? Well, it is, if you can avoid the justifiably famous high cost of living in Tokyo and the other major cities, and/or find a decent job that allows you to tolerate it. It is possible to do that, too - if you like rural living and can afford a rural lifestyle in the U.S., you can afford a rural lifestyle in Japan. Once outside the cities, the cost of living drops dramatically. For example, a decent 1300 square foot house can be rented for about $500 to $600 per month, or purchased for about $100,000, and other living costs are roughly proportionate. The country is definitely First World, and that is one of its attractions; everything here, transportation, utilities, bureacracy, the entire country, in fact, runs like a new Swiss watch. The Japanese are very friendly, helpful and unfailingly polite, but to make everything happen the way you expect, you need to understand Japanese culture. If you offend, they won't tell you, but you will just find that things won't seem to quite happen for you the way you think they should. Crime is rare, and since it is quite safe to carry cash here, credit cards are not widely used, and are therefore not widely accepted - the Japanese pay cash for most everything. The easiest place to find ATMs is in the postal system - every Japanese post office, and they are everywhere, has an ATM machine where American plastic works fine (and they even have an English-language menu option). There is some anti-American resentment over the continued U.S. military presence in that country, so it is best to locate as far away as possible from U.S. military bases - so don't even think about Okinawa, the most nearly tropical of the country's many prefectures. U.S. passport-holders are granted a 90-day tourist visa on arrival, and can obtain a residency visa, good for 1 to 3 years (depending on the category) if they have a job, family member or other family sponsor. Japanese citizenship is available after five years of legal residency. Legal residents can purchase property and join the national health insurance program - at a price vastly cheaper than U.S. health insurance, and the quality of care, like all customer service in Japan, is excellent. Most categories of residency visas allow work; a good source of employment is teaching English as a second language - native English speakers are rare in Japan and are sought after as ESL teachers. A good source for finding such jobs is the "Good Morning, Teacher" web site. The country offers a vast array of climates from which to choose, from sub-arctic in the far north of Hokkaido to subtropical in the far south of Kyushu. Downsides: The language is notoriously difficult for English-speakers to learn, and the cultural norms and taboos can be a bit byzantine, yet are very important to learn. Discrimination against foreigners, especially Americans, does occur as well, and is not culturally discouraged. The weather is one of the few things about this country the Japanese have not yet managed to fix - Japan gets hit by one to several typhoons each year, though the Japanese emergency response system is as polished as everything else - things are cleaned up, damage repaired and back in working order with amazing speed. Earthquakes can happen anywhere in the archipelago, and the word "tsunami" - for "tidal wave" - is of Japanese origin. Both happen with disconcerting frequency.

• The Phillipines An increasingly popular destination for American retirees, the Phillipines offers a retirement visa program that is easy to qualify for, and best of all, one of the lowest costs of living in the world. Real estate is dirt cheap - one of the cheapest places in the world in which to live. A new townhouse in a gated neighborhood can be had for $40,000. Utilities, at least near the biggest cities, are readily available and reliable, and in the bigger cities, many, if not most people speak at least some English. Minuses include historical political instablility and notoriously poor governance, a festering Islamic insurgency in some of the outlying (particularly southern) islands, frequent typhoons in much of the archipelago (which often cause serious damage and flooding when they occur), a difficult language you may need to learn, and it is a long distance from home - expensive to fly to and move to and from. It also suffers from an extremely high street-crime rate (including, apparently, organized gangs that look for rich people and foreigners to victimize), especially in the large cities. Foreign residents often report that they do not feel safe venturing out on the streets without an armed bodyguard - street gangs will often chop off a limb to get at a watch or bracelet. Because of this, foreigners should carefully research where it is relatively safe for them to be, and stick to those areas. It is rated by Transparency International as the 11th most corrupt nation in the world (2004 perceptions index). It is also not possible for foreigners to purchase land. Ownership of real estate is limited to condominiums, in which the owner does not own rights to the land on which it sits, as ownership of land itself by foreigners is forbidden. About the only way to get around this is to have the land held in a corporation that is majority-owned by a Filipino - a pretty risky proposition for obvious reasons. The Phillipines offers the usual visa categories as well as a quota immigration system and a retirement visa program, and quite a few others. The retiree visa is a bit unusual, in that it requires a deposit in a Phillipine bank of $50,000 for the term of the visa, for persons over the age of 50, or $75,000 for persons of lesser age. Otherwise the usual procedures apply.

• New Zealand If you are American and left-of-center politically, this is probably the best place in the world to resettle, if you can qualify for a residence and work permit and get in. New Zealand has a very tolerant attitude towards minorities, including gays and genuine political refugees, and most Kiwis will, once they understand your circumstances, will be very sympathetic and will move heaven and earth to help you out. The country offers a wide variety of climates, too, from a snowy Temperate Zone climate in the far south to a balmy subtropical climate in the far north. And the scenery in parts of New Zealand is unrivaled anywhere in the world. But getting in can be a problem - best if you are young, have a needed skill, or other reason why you can demonstrate that you can contribute to the country and be self supporting. The New Zealand government immigration service has a web site that offers a self-evaluation test that will help you determine whether you can qualify. The bad news is that the cost of living is about the same as the States, but the average income is almost exactly half that of the States - so, unless you are already self-sufficient, expect to take quite a hit in how well you live. It is also a long distance from the States, so it is expensive to move and fly to and from. Getting off the islands for business or a vacation will cost you - New Zealand is one of the most isolated places on the planet, and anywhere outside of New Zealand is a long, expensive international flight.

• Thailand Another increasingly popular destination for retirees, it boasts long stretches of some of the most beautiful and uncrowded tropical beaches in the world. An additional attraction is the cost of living - one of the lowest in the world at present, for a dollar-based expatriate. Thais are widely known for being tolerant of and patient with foreigners (the country was never colonized), and English is commonly spoken in areas frequented by foreigners. Downsides: Bangkok is one of the most crowded, traffic-choked and polluted cities in the world (though it boasts some of the world's best shopping). Bangkok is also infamous for its sex tourism, due to the fact of legalized prostitution and a truly serious problem with human trafficking, mostly of women and adolescents from the countryside, who are sold into prostitution - a reputation not well-appreciated by the locals, and against which the government is finally starting to move with decisiveness. Thailand also has the most draconian drug laws and policies in the world, and the world's most brutal repression of the drug culture - it can get you simply shot and killed without a twinge of apology (not to mention due process) by the police at worst, or imprisoned in some of the world's roughest jails for the rest of your life at the very best - not a risk I would want to take. So if wild, rowdy partying is your thing, go elsewhere. Also, as a result of the recent coup, the political future of the country is unpredictable at best - as of this writing, whether the country will return to democracy or descend into a dark military dictatorship is anything but certain. Americans without visas but arriving by cruise ship or airplane will receive a 15-day tourist visa on arrival; for visas of longer duration or information on non-immigrant visas, check with the Thai embassy before departure, or forward your request and supporting evidence to the Immigration Division, Soi Suan Phlu, Sathon Tai Rd., Bangkok 10120 (telephone 2873101-10). Non-immigrant visas are available for retirees (on showing money in a Thai bank of 800,000 bhat - roughly $20,000 - or a monthly income of 65,000 bhat - roughly $1600), relatives of Thais, businessmen and most of the other usual categories, and are granted for one year terms; permanent residence visas (the path to citizenship) require a minimum of three previous uninterrupted non-immigrant visas, and are only available to the first 100 applicants per year per country - good luck.

  Caribbean

• Cuba Who would have thought this last remaining communist "worker's paradise" would be a venue for expatriates seeking to live abroad? Well, the cheapness of the Cuban peso is one reason why it is. It is possible to live here about as cheaply as it is possible to live anywhere else in the world - if you are willing to live like a Cuban, which means quite sparsely. The biggest problem is what you would expect it to be in a communist state - bureaucracy. The legal processes here tend to be arbitrary and opaque, and it seems that just about every bureaucrat, policeman or army officer is on the take. You can't own real estate here, only the locals, and it is difficult even for them - this is, after all, a communist country. Expatriates are also carefully controlled as to where they can live and travel - if you want to go somewhere outside your permitted areas, you'll have to get permission - and don't be surprised if you are required to take a government minder along. There are very few "luxury" (read: anything that isn't absolutely basic) goods in the shops here, but they are available - for a price and the inconvenience of finding them (the once-famous dollar shops have been closed). And the process of getting a permanent residence visa is, I am told, almost byzantine in its complexity. But if all this does not put you off, Cuba has some of the best (and least crowded) beaches in the Caribbean, dirt cheap markets (Cuban cigars and rum are second to none, and are nevertheless dirt cheap locally), some truly impressive scenery and a crime rate that is one of the lowest in the third world (though petty theft in hotels, parked cars and on the beaches is common). If you are an American, forget ever going back to the States if you choose to live here permanently, and make sure all of your assets are out of the U.S. before you travel. It is still quite illegal (and the penalties are severe) for you to even travel here, much less take up residence - and the Bushies are enforcing the law more vigorously than ever.

• Dominica This tiny island nation (not to be confused with the Dominican Republic) is a British Commonwealth country, and English is the lingua franca here. It is also one of the tiniest countries in the world - the total population is less than 70,000 and the island itself about 800 square kilometers - yet, in spite of its small size, the island is surprisingly uncrowded by Caribbean standards. The island is also the most pristine in the Caribbean, because it is almost the only place that was not overrun by colonial sugar planters. Significant stands of primary rain forest, with many endangered species, still remain here. The government welcomes investment by expatriates settling here, and a residency is easy to qualify for - a $75,000 investment in local 15-year bonds or a $50,000 single payment to the government is all that is required to get a permanent, irrevocable citizenship, complete with passport. While it is a paradise in a lot of ways, there is a serious drawback to this place - if you are not used to island living, and/or you like to travel around a lot, this place will give you serious case of claustrophobia. The island is quite small, and you can get anywhere from anywhere else on the island in less than an hour - and travel to a neighboring island is international travel. Also, the island is quite mountainous, and the vertical topography (the reason it was not attractive to the colonial sugar planters) makes getting around a bit interesting at times.

• Dominican Republic This country, which shares the island of Hispanola with Haiti, has begun to welcome retirees in some numbers, who are attracted by the vibrant Caribbean culture and wild night-life of the capital. This is a great party place, and if wild partying is your thing, I am told this is the place to be. It has a fairly small land area and is fairly crowded, though, and real estate prices, even outside the capital, are fairly high as a result. Don't expect to live cheaply here. Everything is imported and is expensive as a result. The poverty, bad as it is, is not as grinding as it is next door in Haiti, so there is a significant illegal immigration problem here. The country has a history of more interventions than any other country in the Caribbean except Haiti, so don't be surprised to wake up some morning to see the U.S. Marines patrolling the streets. Americans can obtain a residence permit for one year on showing financial assets of $35,000 or more. It is possible, under certain circumstances, to obtain a work permit if sponsored by an employer. Residence applications begin in-country at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and must be completed within 60 days at the Ministry of Immigration.

• Martinique and Guadaloupe This overseas territory of France is a bit on the expensive side, as the island is crowded and overrun by hordes of cruise-ship-borne tourists, but if you speak French and like island living, it is worth considering. Being a French overseas territory, it has many of the advantages of being in France - great cuisine, good infrastructure, a stable democratic government where the rule of law is rigidly observed, and an open, welcoming attitude. Immigration for U.S. citizens is easy, too - there is no threshold to meet for income requirements, just demonstrate to the satisfaction of the Paris immigration bureaucrats that you have enough money to live on, and the rest is easy. Apply to the French embassy in Washington before travel there.

• St. Kitts and Nevis This tiny republic, one of the smallest in the world in terms of both population and land area, is also one of the most crime-free and stable locations in the world - this former British colony is one of the most tolerable places to live anywhere, if you don't need to move around. If you can handle the isolation and lack of "elbow room," this English-speaking dot on the map may be of interest - and if you have a bit of money, you can get a citizenship rather easily. Invest $100,000 in government bonds (bearing 4% interest) for five years, and you're in (the interest gets paid into an escrow account during that period). Or invest $150,000 in real estate, and that will do it too, or $250,000 in any pre-approved investment project. The downside is that the non-refundable application fee is $25,000. But hey, you get a passport out of the deal, can come and go as you please, and have a lovely property in one of the safest places in the Caribbean. And most of Europe and many other countries do not require a visa from "Kittians" traveling to their countries.

  Europe

• Greece Wonderfully friendly people, who, when they get to know and accept you, will be extraordinarily kind, gracious and generous. Greece offers some of the most beautiful scenery in the Mediterranean, and many of the whitewashed villages on the Greek islands are truly exquisite - photos of them appear on travel posters all over the world. The cost of living is high, especially in the Greek islands, as this is a Euro-zone country. Greece has a stable democracy now, but has been the subject of a good deal of rather brutal American intervention, so right-wing Americans are not much appreciated in Greece. Tourist visas for Americans are granted for three months, and temporary residence visas are available for three month periods, if you can demonstate financial competence. Permanent visas are much harder to get, and apparently the laws are vague and much is left to the discretion of the alien-police inspector examining your application.

• Ireland A beautiful country with a warm and welcoming culture, Ireland is fast becoming a destination of choice, particularly for artists, poets and writers, for whom special immigration provisions apply. It is a fairly small country that is also topographically fairly homogeneous - most of the country is like most of the rest of the country, so getting a change of scenery means international travel. This country is becoming a haven for political dissidents and activists who generally get a warm welcome here. It also has the advantage of being an English-speaking country, so no new language needs to be learned. The predominant religion is Roman Catholicism, and as a result, the local culture can occasionally have a hard conservative edge to it, particularly in the countryside. The weather can be truly awful, particularly in the winter months, when it can rain and drizzle continuously for weeks at a time - when it's not snowing. A few days in the summer can be truly glorious, but they are all too few. Ireland has recently tightened its asylum policies, though it is still generally liberal by world standards. Applicants cannot work until their applications are approved. Work permits are fairly easy to get with an employer's cooperation, though employers are required to provide preference to European Union nationals. This has greatly reduced the number of migrant work permits that have been approved from the United States.

• Italy This country is often considered the best retirement location in the world - for those who can afford it. The weather, at least in the south, is great and the scenery is incredible. But figure a small but decent apartment with a nice view in a small city well away from Rome will set you back more than $1500 per month. Real estate and rental prices here are truly breathtaking - on a par with Southern California. For American palates, the food here is wonderful - it's been said that it is impossible to get a bad meal while traveling in Italy. The culture, the people, the travel and the shopping are truly worth it - if you have the money. Work permits are only available by employer sponsorship, so you will need to find a job before you apply. Italy's work permit schemes are administered regionally.

• The Netherlands Holland is probably the most liberal country in the world, so leftists will feel right at home, and right-wingers decidedly uncomfortable with Dutch liberal socialism. The Dutch share their country liberally, and always have, especially with the politically persecuted. But resentment caused by a terrible illegal immigration problem is changing this - there is an unfortunate rightward drift in Dutch politics these days. This is in no small part due to the fact that Holland is terribly crowded - it is almost impossible in this country to "get away" - there just isn't any place to escape to, unless it is a neighboring country or out on the ocean. The language is also a bit difficult for native English-speakers to learn. This country is one of the easiest in the world to get into and stay in as a political refugee, but the currency is the Euro, so pensioners' dollars don't go far. As in most of the rest of the Euro zone, real estate is expensive and the cost of living is not cheap, either.

• Portugal Boasting great weather and one of the lowest street crime rates in the world, this country in the far west of Europe is attracting increasing numbers of retirees - many of them British. Most folks here never lock their homes, and many people never bother to even lock the car or take the car keys out of the ignition. The bad news: Portugal is a Euro-zone country, so the cost of living, while cheap by European standards, is expensive by American standards. Portuguese culture has its quirks that take some getting used to. A guide book with a good discussion of Portuguese culture is a must to get along here - otherwise you will frequently offend and never understand why - the Portuguese can be a bit intolerant of those who don't understand their culture. For example, you should never admit publicly to drinking any wine except Portuguese wine. Otherwise, you will automatically be branded an anti-Portuguese chauvinist. Drivers pay almost no attention to driving rules, especially stop lights and speed limits, so getting around here can be a dangerous proposition - traffic accidents are a leading cause of death. A 90-day tourist/business visa is granted on arrival to Americans. More information is still being sought about immigration policy.

• South of France France is fairly easy to qualify for refugee status, and if you are left of center politically, you will fit right in - and your politics will be well appreciated. For U.S. retirees, the process is really simple - fill out the forms, provide documentation of your income, assets, and police record, and you're in. The French Riviera and inland areas are not as cheap as they used to be - real estate prices are on a par with the States these days. But the cost of living otherwise is quite reasonable. The scenery is world famous and the weather, outside of Provence (which can be cold and terribly windy at times), is wonderful. French culture is a mystery to Americans, and not knowing how to relate to the French will leave you feeling that they are cold and indifferent. Not true - when you need assistance, humbly approach a Frenchman as if it is a problem that he can solve - the French love to solve problems. Couched in those terms, they will move heaven and earth for you. The brusque, direct approach that feels so right and comes so naturally to Americans is extremely offensive to the French, and that is why Americans, not knowing better, see them as rude and inconsiderate. More information on immigration policy is needed here.

• Spain Beautiful architecture, friendly people, interesting history and culture, great shopping, even in small cities, a relatively low cost of living, a relatively low crime rate in most places, excellent weather - what could be wrong with this place? Well, it is a great place if you plan to rent. But don't buy property here. Many local governments, in an attempt to attract developers, have created property laws that make it easy for developers, working through local governments, to sieze your property - with no compensation to you! The Spanish federal government has been indifferent to what has been going on. It's called "land-grabbing," and the result is that the hordes of British retirees that moved here years ago are now selling, if they can, and are moving elsewhere as quickly as they can arrange it. Work permits and the associated visas are issued only to persons having an employement offer, and must be done before entering the country. The employer solicits an Offer of Employment application from the local labor office, has it endorsed and sends a copy to the employee who then sends it to the consulate having responsibility for where he is living. That consulate then issues the work permit and the visa. Retirement visas are available if you can prove a minimum income of $10,000 per year, proof of health insurance, a home you own in Spain, and police clearance. They are applied for in your home country at the consulate or embassy before you leave.

  North America

• The Bahamas Just off the coast of Florida, this tropical paradise has a problem - It is just off the coast of Florida. So the government here has long made immigration difficult, as there just isn't much room for newcomers. And at the behest of the American government, it has recently made residency even more difficult to obtain. It also suffers from a hurricane problem - when there is one coming, there is nowhere to flee, as the entire nation is low-lying - which also means there is no escape from the heat, humidity and bugs. So while it has some advantages, mostly proximity to Florida, I feel that for permanent exile, there are simply better options elsewhere. U.S. visitors can stay up to eight months on thier passport or birth certificate, but must have a return ticket. People planning permanent residence should contact the Ministry of Labour and Immigration in Nassau.

• Canada This nation has always been the easy choice for Americans fleeing the repression of their government - since the American Revolution, in fact. Canadians pride themselves on their difference from their neighbors to the south - mostly in being a more compassionate, caring society. And they are. It is reflected in their crime and health care statistics. But Canada is being sucked down the same road as that Neighbor To The South, and I figure it is only about ten to fifteen years behind the U.S. in terms of becoming a repressive society - already there are reports of "terrorist" suspects being held indefinitely without being charged or tried. This repression will meet more resistance among Canadians than it has from Americans, but it will happen nevertheless. That long, culturally porous border will see to that. So I don't see this as a good option except in the short term. It also suffers from what I consider to be another serious problem - the fourth coldest climate of any country in the world. The good news is that Canada is one of the few countries in the world that is actually looking for immigrants, and so work permits are generally fairly easy to get here.

• Mexico A country historically regarded as the refuge of choice of Americans fleeing the law, in recent years, Mexico has also become a destination of people looking for a quiet, friendly, warm place to live. The big problem with Mexico, however, was best described nearly a century ago by one of its former presidents. "Poor Mexico," president Diaz lamented. "So far from God and so close to the United States!" Well, that pretty well sums it up - Mexico suffers a great deal from its proximity to El Norte, not the least of which is the fact that just about every rowdy American who lives anywhere near the border and wants to raise a little hell, goes to a Mexican border town (or tourist resort town) to do it. That, along with the rather sordid history of U.S. treatment of Mexico (the theft of half of the Mexican national territory comes immediately to mind), has soured the attitude of a lot of Mexicans towards Americans, and so if you want to be well tolerated, if not appreciated, it is best to get as far from the U.S. border and the tourist traps frequented by gringos as you can get. This, for many Americans moving to this country, means central or southern Mexico, which also happens to have a much better climate than the north of the country. The cost of living is cheap compared to the U.S., but not anywhere near as cheap as it used to be, or as cheap as it still is in much of Central and South America. Positives - a vibrant, unique culture, lots of opportunities for relatively cheap living in a wide variety of settings, and relatively good infrastructure in most larger towns. It is a big country that is easy to move around in and enjoy its vast variety of indiginous cultures. Negatives - a thoroughly corrupt and ineffective police and judicial system, negative attitudes towards gringos, particularly near the U.S. border, and a serious crime problem, particularly in the biggest cities, where kidnapping wealthy Mexicans and foreigners has become the national sport. As a non-Mexican, you cannot own property here - it has to be held in trust for you by your bank. There are a number of festering insurgencies that flare up in Mexico from time to time, particularly in Chiapas State along the Guatemala border, where travel by foreigners is often restricted. Others are in Oaxaca, Tabasco and Guerrero states. Mexico in recent years has also increasingly cooperated with the U.S. in repatriating fugitives from American law, so forget this place as a refuge if you are a tax protester, are AWOL from the military, or are wanted by the American law for any other reason. But retirement in one of the increasing number of gringo colonies in the southern highlands is still quite attractive. Visas are not required for short stays near the border, but longer stays or trips to the non-tourist traps require a visa. These are generally easy to obtain, but are usually valid for only 90 days (though the officer has the discretion to issue them for up to 180 days. An FM3 Residence Permit is required if you plan to be in Mexico for more than 180 days per year. It can be obtained from any Immigration office in Mexico or from any Mexican consulate and is issued for one year. To qualify, you have to show an income of about 8,700 pesos per month (plus 4,700 for each dependent), though that number is halved if you "own" a Mexican home at which you intend to reside.

  Central and South America

• Argentina A much under-appreciated venue for exile, this homeland of the tango has long had a sort of cultural schizophrenia - it is decidedly European in flavor, speaking a rather unique dialect of Spanish, and featuring very European architecture and tastes in fashion and food, and likes to think of itself as more European than Latino, but it also has the most intensely macho, Latin American attitude towards people of lower classes as well as women and sexual minorities. It also has a strong right-wing, classist political culture fostered by the estancia (estate) system, a legacy of the Spanish colonialization. The distinctly European flavor of the culture has long been attractive to non-Latinos, especially Europeans, and the right-wing streak in Argentine politics has been attractive to right-wingers from both North America and Europe. Many Nazi war criminals fled here after World War II, getting a furtively warm welcome from the Argentine political class. The right-wing streak in the political system here has led to frequent abuses of human rights and long-term political instability. The populism of the Peron regime (and subsequent Peronist-party regimes) in particular has left a legacy of government corruption and fiscal indiscipline that, combined with the nostrums of the IMF and World Bank, has resulted in the country going broke - quite literally - and led to the government's siezure of about half of the wealth in the nation's bank accounts at the height of the crisis. The harsh, irrational "free-market reforms" imposed by the International Monetary Fund and accepted unhesitatingly by the presidents who had little choice, also crushed what remained of the economy, and has resulted in more than half of the country now living below the poverty line, pushing street-crime to levels never before seen in this formerly relatively prosperous country. The economy is recovering, but it will take a long time for Argentines to recover their historical prosperity - and their national dignity and pride. This country has historically been a destination for American retirees, but due to the street crime and economic and recent political instability, it is has lost much of its luster. It is currently dirt cheap - the cheapest country in the world for an American to live in, due to the devastated Argentine peso, but the security issue won't go away anytime soon, so I recommend that unless you can afford a solid home with really good security, and you can arrange ready access to offshore banking and income, and and are prepared to live off ATM cash for your daily needs, it is best to look elsewhere. U.S. citizens can stay in Argentina for up to 90 days without a visa, but those visas can be renewed indefinitely by simply traveling to a border or international airport and getting a new stamp - no questions asked. And the fine for overstaying a visa is dirt cheap, too. There are significant numbers of gringos who have lived in Argentina for decades and are still doing that - immigration is definitely not an issue in Argentina. Visas are available only for five categories: tourists, business, employment, investment and students, but an investment residency can be obtained by buying a home worth $10,000 or more, according to recent information I have received. This isn't a bad way to go, since you'll have to buy a house anyway - rentals are almost impossible to arrange, due to some draconian rental laws that make property title theft by renters rather easy, and because there are a lot of properties available at "distressed" prices by people being forced to relocate, real estate is dirt cheap. In many cities, a decent home can be had for as little as $20,000. Hence, most people buy and sell when they move, and don't attempt to deal with trying to rent. Because kidnapping of "rich" people has become the national pastime (and all gringos are presumed to be rich), it is best to maintain a low profile - live in a modest house and drive an old car.

• Belize Attractive to Americans mostly because it is an English-speaking country in a tropical setting, Belize typifies the laid-back Caribbean culture of "Ain' no big deal, mon!" Uncrowded and wonderfully friendly, with stunning tropical beaches and some of the best scuba diving in the world, it can be a very beguiling place. It has two main problems, however. First, a rather unwelcoming immigration policy - you need $25,000 per year of guaranteed monthly foreign income to get a residence permit. Second, the weather. There is not much road access to the interior highlands where the weather is cool and pleasant, so you are pretty much restricted to living along the coast where the roads are. And that means heat, humidity and bugs. And there are also the hurricanes - Belize gets hit quite regularly with hurricanes, two or more in a bad season. And a bad one can really tear up the place - most construction here is not very substantial - timber-frame and zinc roof sheets. Infrastructure is rather poor as well. There are few paved roads or utilities outside the capital and the very biggest towns. There is long-term potential for political problems, too - Guatemala maintains a claim to the country, threatening to invade from time to time, though that threat seems to have diminished in recent years. Permanent residence visas are obtained after you arrive.

• Brazil Brazil is the largest country in South America and offers the breadth of opportunities for travel, tourism, cultural experience and range of living opportunities you would expect from such a large and diverse country. Ranging from the jungles of the Amazon to the high plains of the pampas around Brazilia to the beaches of Rio, the range of landscapes is enormous. The Brazilians are world-famous for their hospitality and friendliness, and welcome foreigners unhesitatingly. Rio de Janero, Sao Paulo, and other cities are world famous for their partying, nightlife, beaches, and their cultural events, and justifiably so. That's the good news. The bad news is that Brazil is not so welcoming to retirees - yes, there is a retirement visa available here, but to qualify for it, you must have proof of an income of at least $2000 per month (plus an additional amount for dependents), that must be brought into the country. Otherwise, there is an investment category, but I have not been able to determine what that requirement is. Brazil is famous for its bureaucracy, and so don't expect the process to be simple and easy. I have been told that it is almost mandatory to hire an attorney to push the documents through the system to get a valid residence visa to pop out the other end. The other downside is that you will have to learn a new language that you can only use in Brazil or Portugal.

• Chile Best known among Americans for one of the most repressive Latin American dictatorships of the Cold War era, Chile was once easily the most democratic and stable nation in Latin America. Then it made the mistake of voting into power a president that Washington didn't like, and that is when the trouble began. CIA intervention brought to power a decade and a half of a brutal right-wing dictatorship along with the serious economic dislocations that dictatorship brought. It left Chile a deeply divided country in a lot of ways - haves versus have nots, right-wing versus left-wing, entrepreneurs versus labor, shopkeepers versus street vendors, academics versus the uneducated, and on and on. But the horrors ended a decade and a half ago, and the wounds are slowly healing. Once the most favored destination in Latin America for Americans seeking to expatriate, Chile for a long time was not even considered as a suitable venue because of the dictatorship and its aftermath, but that is now finally changing. A good quality of life at a relatively low cost, incredibly varied and beautiful scenery, a wide variety of climates from which to choose, abundant and cheap real estate, and a warmly friendly people with a "can-do" attitude very favorable to getting things done, the best infrastructure in Latin America and a cooperative and welcoming government are now reasons why Americans are now moving to Chile in some numbers, particularly those who are seeking a good business climate in Latin America in which to set up shop. Especially attractive are the gringo colonies that are appearing in the central and southern parts of the country, particularly in the fjord region of the far south. With much of the country having a climate similar to the California coast, Chile is an ideal location for those looking for climates similar to what they were used to at home, but without the severe cold temperatures of northern winters. Work visas are called "labor contract" visas and may be applied for either in-country or prior to arrival, but each has different procedures, all requiring extensive cooperation by the employer. It is possible to convert a visitor visa to a labor contract visa while in the country, but the process is difficult and takes a long time. Labor contract visas obtained prior to arrival require that you enter the country within 90 days, and must register at the ministry of the interior within 30 days of arrival. Documents are valid for two years.

• Colombia You would never think of the center of the world's cocaine trafficing, and a nation consumed with fighting three insurgencies at once, as being an attractive place for exile, but for the brave, it actually is, particularly for a small group living together. It is a big country, and not everywhere is affected by the craziness. And that is key - settling into a spot that no one wants to control or exploit. It has a big advantage - dirt cheap living (real estate is still affordable, even at the beaches near Cartagena). It used to be very easy to get a residence permit for Colombia, but those days have apparently changed, or at the least will be affected by where you are coming from and your politics. Some people (from the U.S.) have told me it was almost ridiculously easy, others (mostly from Europe) have said that the process was byzantine and time-consuming. A search of Colombian consular web sites wasn't much help in sorting this out, either - my suspicion is that what kind of roadblocks you encounter will depend more on who you are than on the law itself. Cartagena is relatively safe and has become something of a Mecca for the sailboat crowd - it is a beautiful colonial city renowned for its architecture and friendly, easy-going lifestyle - Christmas in Cartagena is something to be experienced. The San Andreas islands, a tiny paradisical archipelago owned by Columbia, just off the east coast of Nicaragua, are also a favorite destination of the beach-bum crowd (though there is an increasing crime problem there, related to the cocaine traffic). Medellin, once the center of the cocaine trade, is now relatively safe and is becoming popular among the adventurous, which report that it is an easy city to live in, and is incredibly beautiful and has a near-perfect climate. Just don't stray very far out into the countryside - more than 25 clicks, I am told, and you're taking your security into your hands.

• Costa Rica This country has long been the first choice of Americans looking to retire abroad on the cheap, as well as political refugees, mostly from South America (though gringos have been known to be granted refugee status on occasion). As U.S. economic fortunes decline, the gringos' place are increasingly being taken by Europeans, particularly the Germans, Dutch and French. A wonderful climate free of hurricanes, abundant and inexpensive highlands real estate up out of the tropical heat, humidity and bugs of the coastal areas, and a welcoming attitude by the Tico people are all attractive to Americans seeking to come here. A typical Social Security income will provide enough money to live in a good house, have a part-time maid or gardener, and still have enough left over at the end of the month for a little fun. But this is not a good country to move to if you need to find work; getting a work permit here to work for someone else is next to impossible without marrying a Costa Rican citizen. Starting a business is feasible (if difficult), however, and most needing to generate an income go this route. Incorporation is easy, does not require a Costa Rican partner, and can be easily done by anyone who is in the country legally - even someone on a tourist visa. For the basic cost of living - food and utilities - it is one of the cheapest places in Latin America - most processed food here is locally produced and of good quality, and farm produce is of excellent quality and is widely available. But imported luxury goods, including automobiles, are very heavily tariffed. So if you want to live simply on the cheap, this is a good place to do it, but if you want to live high on the hog like a typical upper-middle-class American, look elsewhere. Americans are generally well liked, and American culture is reasonably well understood and tolerated. Getting a residence permit can be problematic if you are not planning to come here as a retiree. The rule of law is well established, and for the most part, fairly transparent, but the omnipresent lawyers (their offices are everywhere) vary a good deal in their diligence and competence, and the law, based on the Napoleonic Code, is incomprehensible to Americans. Anyone in the country legally can buy and own real estate directly, but title theft victimizing unsuspecting gringos is a major problem. You can best protect your property through a legal instrument known as a cedula hipotecaria, which is a type of mortgate certificate showing yourself as the mortgage-holder - if your title is stolen, you get your property back by simply foreclosing. The certificate can also be used as collateral for a loan. Being able to speak Spanish is a must outside of the capital. This country in recent years has been a haven for tax dodgers and protesters, con artists and sex tourists, and the Costa Rican government is determined to put an end to this situation, and has been cracking down hard on these types - so don't come here unless you have legitimate, legal reasons for wanting to be here specifically. And don't figure on bribing your way around - most of the cops here are honest and will be quite happy to arrest you for a bribery attempt. Costa Ricans despise corruption and don't think highly of people, especially outsiders, who attempt it. Recent revelations about corrupt past presidents brought Costa Ricans out on the streets to protest in large numbers - something unlikely to happen anywhere else in Latin America. Retirement visas can be obtained here on providing (through properly executed and authenticated documents) a clean police record, 55 years of age or more, and a permanent $600 per month pension income, or $1000 per month foreign income provably available for five years, as well as other categories such as investors. But Foggy Bottom has been trying hard to get the Costa Ricans to tighten the immigration requirements usually used by Americans, and therefore, as a result of a new law recently passed, the documentation requirements will be considerably tightened in August 2006, with visa applications being required to be filed in person at the Costa Rican consulate covering your city of residence. Non-renewable tourist visas (90 days for Americans, 30 days for Europeans) are granted routinely on entry.

• Ecuador Ecuador has recently established a category of residence permits for retirees, (though there are no particular incentives yet established), and the country's incredible scenery, cultural diversity, biodiversity, dollar-based economy and friendliness towards foreigners is making it an increasingly popular destination for retirees. The cost of living is one of the lowest in Latin America - a decent apartment in a good neighborhood can be had for $300 per month. Immigration is definitely not an issue if you have enough money to live on - $800 per month from a "stable source" will qualify you for a 10-I Pensionado visa, or if you have US$25,000 to invest in property (or in Ecuadorian securities), that will qualify you for a 10-II Inversionista visa - and a decent house won't cost much more than that in the suburbs or countryside. Upsides: Incredible geographic diversity in this small country means you can without a doubt find a place where the climate suits you - hot to cold, jungle to desert, humid to dry, or quite literally any combination of the above. A residence visa is relatively easy to arrange if your documentation is in order, and takes four to six weeks for approval. The Ecuadorians love to show off their country and many will be delighted to hear that you are in Ecuador by choice. Ecuador is truly a land of opportunity, and welcomes foreigners bringing their skills to establish new businesses - and there is a wholesale migration of gringos leaving Central America to come here to settle and start businesses. The cost of living is about as low as it gets. Downsides: Street crime is a very serious problem in Quito and Guayaquil, so be prepared to get mugged unless you have a reliable companion with you - one correspondent tells me he was mugged twice on his first day in Quito, and he is a big man with a lot of travel experience. The police are rather rigid about enforcement of the law, and you can expect hassles, even detention if you are drunk in public, cause a disturbance, or can't produce the proper ID when asked. Also, infrastructure is very limited outside city or town limits. If you make an exploratory visit to Ecuador, North Americans and most Europeans can obtain a 90-day visa upon arrival (be prepared to show sufficient money to last the length of the visa you are requesting), but you must carry your passport with you - a copy is not acceptable (tip: make and keep a photocopy of your passport, with the entry stamp, in your hotel room in case your passport gets stolen. It will make obtaining a replacement a lot easier). Failure to produce an actual passport upon request may result in your detention! The exception is in Quito and Guayaquil, where as a courtesy, police will allow you to carry a copy that has been certified by the U.S. Embassy.

• French Guiana For Americans, without a doubt one of the easiest venues to get legal permission to stay in of any country in South America. What makes it so easy? Because it is an overseas department of France. Legally, it is exactly the same as living in mainland France, so that means Americans have a really easy time of it getting in. Document your financial means - assets and income (no "economic activity" is permitted), your police record, provide the forms required which can be downloaded from the French Embassy web site, and you're in. This department of France actually accepts U.S. dollars pretty much everywhere (Paris is a really long way away), and the overwhelming presence of the Arianespace spaceport operations at Kourou (this is the location from which most of the world's communications satellites are launched), means that English is about as widely spoken as French. The rule of law is the same as anywhere else in France - well established and not discriminatory against foreigners. This also means it is relatively safe - other than the rare street mugging or burglary, there isn't much crime here. Outside the small town of Kourou and the capital of Cayenne (population: 40,000), there really isn't much of anything other than jungle. Roads are good and are safe, but there isn't much to see other than jungle and a few practically empty first-class beaches and small fishing towns - the population of the entire Department of French Guiana is less than 180,000. But if you want a place where you can be a pioneer and buy lots of virgin jungle for not much money, this is the place for you. Another plus is that the place doesn't have weather problems - no hurricanes, no tornadoes, no earthquakes, no volcanoes, nothing to disturb the peace of an afternoon spent, mojita in hand, out in the hammock on the veranda. Nearly everywhere in this vast region plunked down on the equator is trackless equatorial jungle wilderness, except right along the coast - in fact, most of the few interior towns that exist can only be reached by riverboat and/or airplane. There is only one highlands town where you are up and out of the heat, and that is Cacao, a bit over 100 kilometers south of Cayenne, reachable by automobile on an interminably long dirt road. Not much there - it is a small, relatively primitive farming village settled mostly by Hmong refugees from Vietnam. The downside is that it is isolated, and the small population means that there isn't much available in the markets outside of Cayenne and Kourou. Because this is a department of France, there is no U.S. embassy or even a consulate here - consular functions are handled across the western border at the U.S. embassy in Suriname. For people who can deal with the isolation, this place truly is a paradise - and one of the last around. And best of all, is it is still quite undiscovered.

• Honduras Honduras has long been treated as if it were a wholly-owned subsidiary of the United Fruit Company (now Chiquita Brands), and the U.S. government, at the behest of United Fruit and other regional interests, has long been inclined to run roughshod over Honduran sovereignty - making it the very stereotype of the banana republic. To this day, it is an easy haven for intelligence agencies and military operations from El Norte. The country has another problem - it is squeezed in between the three countries in Latin America that have historically suffered the most from U.S. intervention, both overt and covert - El Salvador, Guatemala and Nicaragua. The covert actions of the U.S. government in Honduras has long fostered corruption, which flourishes here as a result. It should be no surprise then, that Hondurans have long regarded their country with resignation as an unsinkable American aircraft carrier, the "U.S.S. Honduras" as they call it. The biggest problem with living in this country is the rule of law, which is a bit iffy, in remote areas especially, particularly along the Nicaragua border, and due to the long history of American intervention, a gringo finding himself caught up in the judicial system just about anywhere in the country will inevitably end up losing his case, regardless of its merits. The situation with a general lack of justice has gotten to the point where there is now a market price for contract murder - $850, which includes the $200 for the bribes to the police. The problem has become especially serious in Honduras' Caribbean coastal islands which have become so unfriendly to gringos that many in that former expat beach-bum haven are now moving off the islands and out of Honduras. If that doesn't scare you, consider that the country has some of the least exploited rainforest in Central America, and some truly excellent beach resorts. The country has begun to welcome retirees in some numbers, too, and is now a significant destination for retirees from the U.S. and Canada. Americans can stay for up to 90 days without a visa, and the entry stamp can be renewed indefinitely, though doing so is problematic - Honduras is part of a Central American customs union with its neighbors, so getting a new entry stamp involves a trip all the way to either the Mexican or Costa Rican border. I would welcome more information, particularly about permanent residence requirements, from those who have moved there and succeeded in getting residence permits.

• Nicaragua An increasingly popular destination for American retirees, this country has recently been "discovered" and real estate prices are escalating dramatically as a result. Big subdivisions are being built to accomodate the crowds of newly retiring moderate-income gringos. It has a culture unique in Latin America (baseball, rather than soccer, is the national sport here), and is probably the easiest country in Latin America for which to qualify as a resident retiree - 45 years of age or more, a clean rap sheet, good health and $400 a month in foreign income, or $30,000 real estate investment, and you're in - and the process is fairly easy and cheap, and can be completed in as little as two months. There is a determination among Nicaraguans of all classes to not repeat the horrors of the civil war in the 1980's, so the country is now calm and peaceful, and for the most part, relatively low in crime, in spite of the fact that this is the second-poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. What few problems remain are mostly along the Honduran border in the northern mountains and drug smuggling along the largely undeveloped Caribbean coast. This nation has had a long history of intervention from Foggy Bottom - the U.S. has blocaded the ports, started two wars here and has invaded on more than a dozen occasions, as well as installing numerous dictators, but hopefully this is largely behind us now - peaceful stability along with a government that reluctantly gives Foggy Bottom whatever it wants lessens the likelihood of intervention. This is the largest country in Central America, and it still offers lots of beautiful, cheap land in the interior mountain highlands, where the weather is pleasantly cool and dry. Beach property is more scarce, and is being bought up fast. Hurricanes occur here, but are infrequent as the country is on the southern edge of the hurricane belt. Infrastructure is a problem outside the cities; only 54% of homes in the country have access to electricity, and fewer have telephones. Basic living costs are cheap, though not as cheap as Costa Rica. Utilities are sky high; electricity is more than 30 cents per Kwh - so if you are going to live in the country especially, consider going off-grid. Managua and Grenada are the most popular destinations, but both are close to sea level and suffer from humidity, afternoon heat and a lot of mosquitos - the highlands east of Managua and the White Towns area west of Masaya offer beautiful scenery and much more comfortable weather, but with good access to shopping in Masaya and Managua. The heights on the Mombacho volcano, overlooking Granada have historically been popular, but are now embargoed for new construction because of environmental concerns - check with the municipality before buying there. The rule of law is a bit more problematic here; bureaucrats can be a bit arbitrary in their interpretation of the law and corruption is a problem, though recent efforts at cracking down on it are slowly bearing fruit. Work permits are extremely difficult to get, but it is not terribly difficult to set up a business, particularly if you are willing to employ Nicaraguans - just be sure you declare your intent to do so before submitting your application for residency, or getting permission will be almost impossible. If you are looking to buy real estate here, it is vitally important to check the title history and see if it was ever expropriated - much of the land here was expropriated during the Sandinista era. If it does have an expropriation in the title history, you will need to get a relinquishment from the former owner (and expect it to cost you money), and have it recorded with your deed (called an escritura), or you can lose your property if the former owner ever decides to show up and claim it in the future. Retirement visas can be obtained in-country, but are vastly easier to arrange before moving there by applying at the consulate covering your city. Americans and most Europeans can visit without a visa for up to 90 days, easily renewable for another 90 days by visiting the Costa Rican border.

• Panama When the Canal Zone was abolished a couple of decades ago, Americans quickly became a relatively rare sight on Panama City streets. But that is changing. Panama has maintained an extremely attractive retiree visa program, which has been quite successful in attracting American and other retirees in spite of a lack of publicity about it. $500 per month, clean rap sheet, your birth certificate, and you are in. With a retirement visa, you get lots of bennies - such as steep discounts (varying from 25 to 50%) on almost everything, including utility bills, bus tickets, plane tickets, medical care, entertainment and the like. The Panamanian government has done a thoroughly miserable job of promoting all this, but people are finding out anyway and are beginning to come here in droves, driving up real estate prices, especially in the highlands near Boquete, where numerous California-style subdivisions are being built to accomodate them. Boquete itself is in a stunning setting and has an almost perfect climate, but that is why it is becoming crowded and expensive, and I recommend the area just below Volcan, Chiriqui province, as a preferable, far less crowded, much roomier and almost undiscovered alternative - and the views can be magnificent in Volcan itself (though the town is a bit high and chilly, at 1600 meters). Politically stable these days, the country is an increasingly attractive option. Negatives: not much land that is above about 300 meters elevation, so highlands real estate above the heat, humidity and bugs is expensive. In my experience, food runs to about 20-30% more than in Costa Rica, because most all processed food is imported, mostly from either Costa Rica or the United States. But luxury goods are not heavily taxed, so if you have a little money and you want to live high on the hog, this is the place to be. Living simply on the cheap is quite another matter - you're better off in Costa Rica or to a lesser extent, Nicaragua. Another big downside is that Panama has become a victim of its own success in attracting retirees - with the resulting predictable backlash against the gringos (though the rules changes were instigated, I hear, by Foggy Bottom). The result has been that a recent change in immigration law passed by the Assemblea (not just an administrative rule change) now means that visitors from the U.S. can only get a 30-day visa, with (if you are sweet and ask the right way) maybe a single 60-day extension if you are lucky. Have all your application docs in order before you arrive; you still have to apply for residence visas after you arrive. But if you overstay your visa or have too many 72-hour visa renewal stamps in your passport, you can be turned away from the country permanently, not just 10 years as in most of Central America. The immigration police even have special patrols in Panama City checking for this, and are enforcing visa expirations strictly. And the pensionado visa requirements are being tightened considerably: you now must be 65 years of age to qualify for a pensionado visa (though there are some exceptions), and many of the bennies are going away. Also, get your yellow fever vaccination up to date - you will not be allowed to enter Panama without proof that it is current. Don't take pictures of people without their permission, or anger anyone (including a business) who could sue you. A newly enacted and truly draconian defamation law could make you liable for millions of dollars in damages if you complain publicly about someone, even if you can prove the allegations. And don't even think about Panama if you are wanted for tax violations in the States - they are known to be detaining people at the border who are wanted in the U.S. on tax violations, even though there is no extradition treaty with the U.S.

• Uruguay This South American nation is surprisingly modern and is the least corrupt place in Latin America, and has a very low cost of living - Montevideo, the capital, has the second lowest cost of living in the world. It is relatively undiscovered, but has great potential as an expatriation venue. A low crime rate and good infrastructure add to its appeal. It has a generally pleasant Mediterranean climate (summer highs in the low 80's and winter highs in the mid 50's), chilly but never cold in the winter, but with bearable summers - quite similar to coastal southern California. The topography is generally flat, so there is not much in the way of terrific scenery, but there are many nice places to live anyway, as the country is fairly large and population density fairly low - Uruguay is suffering from a serious population outflow, so property is dirt cheap. Uruguay boasts a considerably better quality of life than most - one of the best in all of Latin America. Quality of infrastructure (roads, utilities, hospitals, etc.), is close to first-world standards, though crime is a problem in some regions. Stay away from the "tri-country region," the area near the conjunction of the Brazil and Argentine borders - it is a haven for drug trafficers and smugglers (and increasingly, terrorists), and can be a rather dangerous place - your car is apt to get stolen and smuggled across the neck of Argentina into Paraguay, where more than half of the cars on the road are stolen and smuggled in from neighboring countries. Immigration requirements for a permanent residency are fairly tight - a pensionado residency requires a minimum of US$1500 per month of documentable foreign income, or a real estate investment in Uruguay of US$100,000 (the property cannot then be sold for ten years). The reward, however, is that it is fairly easy for permanent residents to obtain an Uruguayan passport - you can qualify after only 18 months as a permanent resident. Pensioners with approved residencies can import a car and household goods duty free. Alternatively, one can invest US$100,000 in Uruguayan government securities before arrival, then trade them in for a home purchase to qualify for the investors' visa. Work permits are generally fairly easy to obtain with the cooperation of the employer, and are valid for the length of the employment contract. They must be applied for after arrival in Uruguay and are tendered by the employer. You may live and work in Uruguay while the work permit application is being processed.

• Venezuela To hear Washington tell it, this oil-rich country on the Caribbean coast of South America is barreling down the road to an evil communist dictatorship, and certainly many of the hard-core right-wing opponents of the charismatic, flamboyant Hugo Chavez would have you believe this is the case. But other than using the vast oil wealth of the country to move large numbers of impoverished Venezuelans out of poverty and misery, and expropriating some of the vast, foreign owned and underutilized cattle ranches for redistribution to the landless campesinos, his opponents have little to actually point to as evidence for their case. Most expats who live in Venezuela agree - while many are nervous about Chavez's left-wing rhetoric, nearly all agree that most everything he has done so far has been good for the country in the long run, and has been far more respectful of human rights than many of the right-wing opposition's darlings have been in the past. Possessed with a real vision of where he wants to take his country, and the means of getting there by astute exploitation of the oil revenues, Chavez has brought an economic boom that has put to shame growth rates everywhere else in the world, including the much vaunted China - it's currently 11.8% per year. A nearly complete illiteracy eradication program, a hugely successful health care system for the poor (in which Cuba supplies the doctors in exchange for subsized oil), and a successful "bread and bricks" program to help the poor lift themselves out of poverty has helped make Hugo Chavez by far the most popular politician in all of Latin America - very often out-polling other countries' local favorites. So what does all this mean for Venezuela as an expatriation venue? Currently, gringos are accepted and liked, and, from what I am being told, welcomed by both the Venezuelan government and people. Left-of-center political refugees from the U.S. in particular, are welcomed with open arms. The poverty reduction programs mean that the crime rates - astronomical in Caracas and other large cities - are coming down, and fairly fast. The scenery is spectacular, transportation is dirt cheap (gasoline is 21 cents US per gallon), roads are good, utilities are cheap and reasonably reliable (though the mail service is effectively non-functional, but private courier service is good). Food and rent is cheap by American standards, but about average for Latin America as are most other living costs. Venezuela has a well-developed culture and cuisine. The bad news is that corruption, both petty and official, seems to be on the increase, if the Transparency International indexes are to be believed. For those seeking a cool highlands location, Merida and its suburbs in the west is typically the destination of choice - colonial architecture, perpetually spring-like weather, a spectacular setting in the Andes mountains and the cultural events associated with a large university are attractions. For business and nightlife, Caracas is the place to go - a large workforce of well educated people hungry for better jobs is available, though the heat is bad, the traffic jams are truly legendary, and street crime is a serious problem. Those looking for a beach-town environment head to Isla Margarita, just off the coast and a 20-minute flight from Caracas - it's widely considered a bare-foot beach bum's paradise, the best in the Caribbean, though a lack of investment in recent years has led the place to become noticably shabby and run down. Venezuelan women are truly legendary for their beauty, and consider expats to be a prize catch - your friends will think there is something wrong with you if you don't have a beauty queen hanging on your arm within a couple of months of your arrival. The bad news: Chavez's thugs have not been all that respectful of dissent, and there has been little effort at reining them in - if your politics are right-wing, best watch your backside. The good news: Visas for Americans are granted for 90 days on arrival, and can be renewed indefinitely at any immigration office or port for a small fee. Residence visas are granted on proof of foreign income of at least $1200 per month, marriage to a Venezuelan, or a suitable investment in Venezuela. Check with your local Venezuelan consulate for details.

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