Remove Me From Your Rooster!

Or, We Have Met The Enemy, And He Is Largely Illiterate!

Please send the very best of your hate mail to me. Thank you!

One of the joys of being a gay rights activist is getting your daily dose of hate mail. Ok, most of it is pretty bland, but every once in a while there is a gem that makes up for all the rest. Here's the best of what I've received, along with a few others...

Here is the absolute best I've seen. It is snippets of various pieces put together by George Neighbors and Kathleen DeBold when they were working for the PFLAG and Victory Fund, which got their fair share. Thanks for sharing it with us, George!

"Dear Faggots, Dikes, Soddomites, Lissbians, and Queer Bates: I recently
came across your address in a magazine I was reading and a plea for
donations to support your perversions caught my eye. Their is no excuse for
you. Your all sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.
Gays are barf-inducing because you know what they do in private. Sex organs
are not very sanitarilly clean. Regard- less of a man's ability as an
artist, dress designer, or choreographer (three favorite professions, I'm
sure) the bottom line is that he enjoys [a long, explicit and obliviously
well-researched description of gay male sex]. I'm sure that lesbians engage
in similar disgusting acts [no description: they still can't figure out what
we do in bed!].

Who is Barry Goldwater compared to God? Check the following versus of
scripture: Genises, Romens, Leviticals, and Profits. God created Adam and
Eve, not Adam and Steve. The Bible makes it clear that Jesus preferred
straight men. That is why God sent you Aides. In our day Aids were helpers
in the principals office.

The homophiles are nothing short of a hatred spreading group that has joined
forces with the KKK, and the brown shirters and the anti- semetics. Homos
have no right to teach in our public schools. You just want to pray on our
children and lead them in a stray. There isn't a homosexual alive who fought
and died for his country like we did.

My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex with a
man and neither has my wife. I hope that your campaigning for homosexuals is
due to your being unknoweable rather than you thinking the things they do
are just `sexual preferance.' Keep your sexual perversions to yourself and
I'll keep my sexual perversions to myself.

I also challenge the word "homophobic" as fear of hobosexuals. I'm not
homophobic--I have no fear of your type, only contempt. And now you have
homophobia to wave around just like the jews have anti-semenic. So lets get
rid of the word homophobia: How about "Homo-Blyiccch" (gag, choke, vomit)?
Sure, you can call me homophonic if you like but I know what's right and
what's wrong. When all you perverts are in hell it will be a much better
place.

I am curious about how you got our name. I suppose that's a secret you'll
keep buried in your bosom. I do not encourage anyone likely to place me on
your mailing list to get more such weird offers. I demand that you remove me
from your rooster!

[Signed]
Satan
Hell Fire Lane
Hell, Inc."

Well, that's hard to top, but here are a few juicy quotes thanks to Chris Shepherd, who gets a bunch in response to her pages, too!

"I have read a number of studies that suggest gay men is a sickness caused
by exposure to chemicals when they were pregnant."

"It has been my experience that the men gays have erroniously large cheek
bones and are unusualy attractive therfore i think homosexunility is a
mental as well as an phcysical disorder"

"A penis was not meant to go into a man's butt, but rather a womens."

"their is only a large handfull of lesbians that were perverted into
heterosexuality"

"God may have created Adam and Steve, but he never intended for them to
love each other."

"The sexuality of human developing countries has always leaned on anonomous
heterosexual relationships."

"if you consider the fact that cats and dogs are of the same species you
would still find it odd if a cat acted like a dog now wouldn't you"

"1 of the theorys that caused Aids was that too homosexuals invented it"

"Homosexuality is defintly a sin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   God enacted Sodomy
because of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I have never misused the bibel to justify my bigtry, I misused the bible
to justify my opinion, as I do in my everyday life. Furthermoor my
credibility has been atact before you are not the first person to have good
cause."

Recently, my essay on gay marriage got linked from some Christian page someplace, and I got some juicy hate mail as a result. Here's one of the best excerpts:

homosexuality is an abnormal defect. i don't care how you look at it, you can make a lot of false accusations so you can think it is not, but it is.

Well, I'd kinda like to know what he thinks a "normal" defect would be in that case. Maybe I could just make a "true" accusation and it would be a normal defect... Any logicians out there who could sort this one out for me?

Here's one that is definitely in the so-bad-it's-good category. It is one I recieved in response to one of my pages. Kinda reminds me of those truly awful 16mm movies they used to show in high-school health class. You know, the ones that were so bad, you couldn't help snickering a little. Well, this one could have been written by a script writer for one of those movies! This guy claims to be studying to be a doctor. If that's true, the medical profession is truly in trouble...

When writing you I expect you to give me the same curtesy I would give
you. Firtsly I'm not homophobic, as the first word that might come to
your mind might be. I'm studying to be a doctor, at the university of
illinois at urbana.  I just want you to think about a few things I have
to say, you homosexual people do claim to be open minded, correct? Well
I want to challenge that. Don't you think that homosexuals are cronic
injustice-collectors.  They are always looking for something that is
done ujustly. Furthermore, why is it that you promote transgenderism,
don't you know that it is a psychiatric disorder. There is nothing
glamorous about being gay, lesbian, orbisexual.  Homosexuality is a
self-damaging disorder. You don't have to believe me but sooner or
later,(sooner more times than later)you will notice that the man that
you love, is unjust to you, arouses your jealousy, mistreats you, and is
mean to you. Also you will find your self hit with a good-sized and
inexplicable depression, if you have not done so already. I think that
you have hit your depression, since you are the effeminate type.
Homosexuality is a disease, with sevre self damaging tendencies that
will show up in time. You don't have to believe me but when you are
laying in your bed in a few years with a depression and veneral disease,
don't say someone didn't warn you.

This one is presented here exactly the way I recieved it. My youth page, to which he is referring doesn't say a thing about masturbation. The fellow obviously has a little trouble figuring out what my page is even talking about, much less being able to comment on it.

How can you have a page that will tell children that it is okay to be 
gay and that it does not matter, are you kidding your self as well as 
the youth . If you are bringing God into this well God is not for this 
at all, he has said in the bible it is better to put it in a belly of a 
whore then to masterbate, so were do you get this at, to say that God or 
Jewish beliefs accept this behavoior, What! God created man and women to 
produce children to be fruitful not to be a fruit,but to have children, 
there is know where in the bible where it saids to go out and be with 
your sister , or your brother. God at one time in history burnt down a 
whole city because of this behavior destroy it not said hey let there be 
this and let it go on. Young children have enough to worried about then 
to think hey do I like boys and I am a boy oh I should be proud are you 
kidding I DONT think that is what goes on in there mind. But hey you are 
there to put that suggestion in there mind . I am not against being 
different but these are kids and there is no medical proof  that you are 
born this way maybe this is a choice ,

In this little gem, I'm accused of hiding behind my web page. Of course, the fact that I have published my opinions on my web page apparently means that I'm still hiding behind it. Huh? I had always thought that the web is a rather public place...

...YOU ARE A QUEER ANYWAY THAT HAS NO MORALS OR VALUES.
YOU ARE A MENACE TO SOCIETY. YOU ARE A CANDYASS! YOU ALSO ARE PROBABLY A
CHICKENSHIT AS WELL BECAUSE YOU ARE TO SCARED TO GO PUBLIC ABOUT THIS
STUFF. YEAH, YOU HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND A WEB PAGE. THAT TELLS ME YOU ARE A
LITTLE, GAY SHIT WHO HIDES BEHIND HIS DAMN COMPUTER EVERY DAY AND HAS NO
BALLS TO COME INTO SOCIETY TO PROMOTE HIS INSANE IDEAS...

Here's a little gem that Chris Shepherd passed along (the commentary is hers). The author is displaying his flawless logic...

gays can change and learn to be normal if they want to.
a particular guy called Sy Rogers,  is now going across the world
preaching on the topic of gayism. he used to be a past gay and has
successfully riverted back to normal.

Well, I'm happy to see that Mr. Rogers is back to living his life as a normal gay man. He continues:

this shows that with God all things
are possible and that gayism is not something inculcated into a person
before birth without that  persons conscent.

Huh? Does this mean that as a fetus, I somehow gave my consent to being lesbian? Gee, I don't remember signing anything...

Here's another one from Chris, and is part of an ongoing discussion with the owner of a religious right/conservative web site.

You tell me I should research an issue before writing about it [same-sex
marriage] or placing it on my website.  Well, how can I research something
I don't understand!

Hmm... silly me. I thought the purpose of research was to gain insight, knowledge, and understanding. I didn't realize you were required to know everything before you actually did any research.

Speaking of research, this little gem came to me via the email list of the National Organization of Gay and Lesbian Scientists and Technical Professionals, of which I'm a member...

This lust driven agenda is popular, but based on uncontrolled sexual
perversion!!  You, or none of your elite partakers in a choice for
filthy sexual practices is ever going to be accepted!  Its sickening
when I mentally see wriething mascullnty, and femminity soaked in lust,
it makes me sick to my stomach.  I'm sure it makes God sick too!  Sodom
and Gommorah was destroyed, and so will you!

Well, I'm really sure that since Sodom and Gommorah were destroyed (by an earthquake,as recent archaelogical evidence indicates, and not by fire as the Bible claims, BTW), that makes me one helluva destroyer myself!

Yep, this person actually made it on a scientists' email list! I don't know whether the author is really a scientist or other technical professional or not, but one thing I'm quite sure of is that she is not likely to get a Nobel Prize for literature!

It's been a long time since I've had a hate-email worthy of these pages, but finally the drought is over. This one was sent me by a Christian who just can't seem to make up his mind whether I'm the bigot or he is. His writing is so muddled it's hard to tell just what his point is. Yet more confirmation, if any were needed, that the enemy is largely illiterate...

So depsite what the bible says it is wrong, depsite what the laws 
are about gay marriage and adoption the people that made those 
are wrong and are bigots. Well isn't it funny Scott, these bigots that
hate faggots make it illegal to get married, and make more money
then you will ever see in your life time.

If you can decipher that, perhaps you might want to pass along the translation. I'm not sure, but it seems to be saying something to the effect that rich people are right because they're rich, believe in the Bible and have made gay marriage illegal!

This one is a truly classic example of a confused little mind. The dear fellow doesn't seem to have much use for gays, but, hey, lesbians are apparently OK because they're hot! Whatever gets your rocks off, dude... And after threatening me and every other gay man around, as well as speaking for God, he wishes me peace!

im gonna kill every ficking fag on this earth by the time your message even gets to people,
ur probly gay, i dont feel any simpothy, they arent born it, they become it. so fags,
get the fuck in hell!!! lesbo's, comon, ther hot, but really, god dosnt want this.

PE@CE!!!

This one is clear proof that the ability to think coherently with reason and logic is evidently not a universal human attribute - or else he is doing his web surfing while stoned out of his skull, which just might explain a few things...

Stop blaming men for everything. I got a feeling your just a man hating gay woman. 
And just to let you know not all men are brutes. 
Men protect you when you sleep and worship you when you are kind and loving to them. 
And the fact is women think with their emotions a lot more than men instead of using reason. 
Men rule the world because they have been able to reason your no victim cry baby nobody 
is stopping you from living a happy life. Stop hating men we invented the 
mass transportion you speech of.

Well, last but not least, I've now been given some wise instruction in how to raise children, as well as a surprising confession and a challenge to a bar brawl. I took out a bit about Lucifer doing God's work, but maybe I should have left that in... Well, anyway, here's the fundamentalist's parting shot...

Did your mommie and daddy pat you on the head and make you "short"
when they should have been kicking you on the rear to push you "up?"
So you think you will "assend" over Gods Holy Word...  
YES, I'M IGNORANT but I'll bet the farm I can take you!

Well, folks, that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed it! If you're an activist, and you've gotten a few good ones, don't be selfish! Share! Send them to me, and if I like 'em, I'll put 'em right here on the Rooster Roster!

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